Mediocrity

ٰAs I am advancing in years, the transition seems more from abstraction into concreteness than in age, really. I preferred to think of myself as some sort of a prodigy, a precocious savior of humanity who is prowling in the dark alleys, waiting for his time to rise and shine. Unfortunately, as it turned out, neither the alleys were particularly dark nor was I, the brightest kid in town. And as this much-loathed realization of mediocrity – the sense that I lie somewhere right under the geometric center of the bell curve of any imaginable global statistical survey – hits home, I am left with an ominous question mark on my own identity – if I am not the top guy, who really am I? My fixation on being the best, shaped partly by my father and partly by my own idealism, had been so strong that it took the form of a purpose to me until I realized that being the best is not always viable for me.

So as the fog starts to clear up, I realize that you can’t satisfy yourselves by standing on a victory stand in every competition life throws at you. Victory stands are in fact the biggest distractions for ambitious men. Competions are to be chosen wisely. When you are 27 years old and you can see life slipping out of your clenched fist like river sand, it becomes a critical question: which avenue of life deserves your attention, time and effort. You cant give everything your everything. You have to be selective. You are not limitless. You are mediocre. Let it sink. Yes, you are. Hard though it might be to register but believing in this is the only way you can amount to anything meaningful, anything worthwhile.


Comments

2 responses to “Mediocrity”

  1. sulphurman Avatar

    I remember reading somewhere that the path to excellence in any field in life begins with an honest assessment of one’s true worth. If we know our true worth, whether we are mediocre or otherwise, we will know what’s lacking and what’s not. Accordingly, we can either focus on developing our weaknesses into strengths (which I feel is a somewhat foolish endeavour), or strengthening our strengths (a far easier and practical proposition).

    What you are feeling is not uncommon. We are all mediocre in some way or the other. Even if we are not, the sheer randomness of the different events in life averages even the three or four sigma outliers of the population (to use your bell curve example).

    However, like you mentioned in the closing lines, the important point is accepting our mediocrity. It’s not easy, especially when our parents and families raise us with dreams of personal grandiosity. But it has to be done.

    Thanks for articulating something that most of us feel, but lack the right words to express.

    1. muhammad sarosh Avatar

      Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. Middle class families in third world countries often feed their offsprings such “dreams of grandiosity”. I’m glad you could relate. For me, this eventual realization of personal mediocrity was more of a setback that I’ve gradually come to terms with. I think I’ve been more comfortable in my skin since

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