Some people just vanish into thin air after you’ve come to fancy them. Others don’t exactly vanish but they let something die / break / crystallize in them which makes them unrecognizable. Either way, you lose someone you cared about, a part of yourself and a possibility of being someone different through them.

There was this one guy from university hostel who used to be up early morning jogging and sparring (Muhammad Ali style) along the Bolan Rd / Indus Loop just when I stretched before my usual 5-miler at the Iqbal Square. On my tempo runs, I would pass him by, grunting out a salam while he carried on boxing with an imaginary rival. Later, our interests converged on a religio-political philosophy thanks to an active proselytizing circle on campus. He was different in some really fundamental way that I can vaguely recall now since it’s been a decade I have seen or talked to him. One thing that I do remember is him being very passionate about Robert Pirsig’s book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance which struck me as quite an odd thing, and hence, charming. A guy training as an electrical engineer has to be quite extraordinary to find passion in a philosophy book. And to vanish so completely in this age as to not leave a trail.

I have known other remarkable people who have stuck around only to change so much that they might as well be total strangers. They are old colleagues, fellow bloggers, class fellows, and sometimes, even family. At the risk of appearing needy and clingy, I think you should keep prodding them until you get your person back out of them. Your attempt to connect / reconnect can be spurned or worse, ignored hurting some self-esteem (or whatever it is they call it these days which keeps people from connecting with other people). Doesn’t the myth that most valuable treasures are guarded by most poisonous snakes teach some valuable lesson? One must ask oneself what’s more important in the long run; false satisfaction of a misplaced ego or a cherished life-long connection. That’s coming from an introvert btw if that adds any more weight to it.